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Jun. 14th, 2023 04:19 pmReading over my last entry, I see that I did not do a great job of editing my typos, but I'm going to leave it as it is. I needed to just be kind of raw to write it, as I haven't really talked about it at all, even with my closest friends, or my husband. I'm usually very open emotionally, and I know if I were hearing this from someone else I'd tell them to talk about it. What's holding me back is the fact that A and I hadn't talked since my father's funeral, and I feel some guilt about that honestly. It wasn't out of malice or bad feelings on either party's part. We just didn't have that close a relationship.
One thing I have been pondering is if I should seek out a therapist again. I had a really good one that I started seeing before I left my second husband. I started seeing him because I was having a hard time deciding if I should leave my alcoholic, narcissistic husband. Of course the answer to that question was yes - but - see there's a pattern here - I felt guilty about leaving. Anyhow, it was clear that once I had made up my mind to leave that I still had a lot of other emotional work to do, and as my therapist was an art therapist and artist, he was the perfect fit for me. He was also a Tibetan Buddhist, and that made my discussions of things going on in my Pagan life much easier to talk about. He retired around 2016, and at that point, I was really in a good place. He gave me a list of people I could see if I needed help again although I have no idea where that list is and I would imagine some of the people on that list may no longer be in practice, or may have moved.
I originally popped in here today to write about things going on in my life beyond my stepbrother's death and my mental health, but apparently there are still a few things on my mind in regard to those things.
Since signing up for this account, I have moved to the new studio I was looking for. It does not fit ALL of the qualifications I was hoping to find, but I am hoping it will still be amazing in ways I hadn't previously imagined. It is still in Phoenixville, the town of the previous studio, but instead of having to walk up three flights of stairs, everything is on one floor. There are a few steps, but there is also a ramp, which makes the schlepping of the art stuffs so much easier. There is also a parking lot which can accommodate up to 40 cars, so that was also greatly pleasing to me. Unlike my last studio, it is also much more private, and has a door which I can open or close. I missed having that kind of privacy.
The day I moved in, I ran into one of my colleagues from work, who was also moving in! I was elated and felt as though I had made the right decision. It costs much more than the last studio, but here I will be able to offer more classes, with a lot greater confidence that not only is the studio is easy to find, but that visitors will have a place to park AND that it is accessible to all kinds of people.
More on this in a bit. I am on vacation this week - out of town - and just realized I can have a nap, which I would really like to have!!
One thing I have been pondering is if I should seek out a therapist again. I had a really good one that I started seeing before I left my second husband. I started seeing him because I was having a hard time deciding if I should leave my alcoholic, narcissistic husband. Of course the answer to that question was yes - but - see there's a pattern here - I felt guilty about leaving. Anyhow, it was clear that once I had made up my mind to leave that I still had a lot of other emotional work to do, and as my therapist was an art therapist and artist, he was the perfect fit for me. He was also a Tibetan Buddhist, and that made my discussions of things going on in my Pagan life much easier to talk about. He retired around 2016, and at that point, I was really in a good place. He gave me a list of people I could see if I needed help again although I have no idea where that list is and I would imagine some of the people on that list may no longer be in practice, or may have moved.
I originally popped in here today to write about things going on in my life beyond my stepbrother's death and my mental health, but apparently there are still a few things on my mind in regard to those things.
Since signing up for this account, I have moved to the new studio I was looking for. It does not fit ALL of the qualifications I was hoping to find, but I am hoping it will still be amazing in ways I hadn't previously imagined. It is still in Phoenixville, the town of the previous studio, but instead of having to walk up three flights of stairs, everything is on one floor. There are a few steps, but there is also a ramp, which makes the schlepping of the art stuffs so much easier. There is also a parking lot which can accommodate up to 40 cars, so that was also greatly pleasing to me. Unlike my last studio, it is also much more private, and has a door which I can open or close. I missed having that kind of privacy.
The day I moved in, I ran into one of my colleagues from work, who was also moving in! I was elated and felt as though I had made the right decision. It costs much more than the last studio, but here I will be able to offer more classes, with a lot greater confidence that not only is the studio is easy to find, but that visitors will have a place to park AND that it is accessible to all kinds of people.
More on this in a bit. I am on vacation this week - out of town - and just realized I can have a nap, which I would really like to have!!
