howdidufindmehere

Hi guise!! (That's my gender-neutral variation of 'guys' as a catch-all term of endearment). I finished watching the k-drama Knight Flower on

china_shop's recommendation and IT WAS SO GOOD.

The heroine is a widow during the old-timey monarchy; her life is extremely restricted and it's actually similar to how widows are treated in my country/culture including in my own family just a couple generations ago. So she was immediately sympathetic to me. She becomes a masked vigilante at night, so that she can give herself something fulfilling to do, and her fight scenes are such fun!

Her love interest is a guy in law enforcement who is supposed to catch her but ends up wanting to protect her identity and aid her, which is DELICIOUS to me. He's so righteous in a non-bureaucratic way, I love it. And when he's jealous he's not scary jealous, he's cute pouty jealous, which is my FAVOURITE. It's a delicious slow burn but they don't even kiss at the end, which gave me the feeling of reading a fic tagged with edging and finding out it's actually orgasm denial. Speaking of fic, I have found a couple of fics in which they purportedly kiss, so I'm going to savour those!

I also binge-watched Season 2 of Deadloch, six episodes in two days. Shoutout to

isabrella because I wouldn't have found out a second season was out now if you didn't mention it!

I'm still reblogging Yunho things on Tumblr despite the pain mixed with my usual adoration when he appears on my dashboard. I've weaned myself off an idol before, and forcing it doesn't work, so I'll see how I continue to feel, I guess. Vara talked to me about it, and she said a lot of people who have messy romantic relationships are decent in general/in their other relationships. I see her point, and I think any idol in his place would have done the same (not standing up for his girlfriend in order to protect his career). But I can't excuse him allowing her to think he was going to come back and make it up to her, if he had no intention to make good on those promises. Vara said it's not all on him to give her closure, but at the very least he should be honest with her about breaking up with her. He was neither honest nor kind.

I've been bleeding lightly since the 21st even though I had my moontime on the 8th this month. It's the second month I'm bleeding during my luteal phase. It's a good thing I've got cloth pads for light bleeds because imagine if I had to run through boxes of pads during my heavy periods and then had to use pads again for the irregular bleeds. I told Bella that I'm using one to two pads a day and she said she considers that a normal period because that's how much she bleeds during her period. We laughed mirthlessly about me calling it a 'light bleed'.

I've ordered chasteberry vitex tablets so I'm hoping those will reduce my estrogen dominance. I found out that poongar rice, a traditional rice variety from Tamil Nadu, is called 'women's rice' because it's got the nutrients needed for better menstrual health. I'm planning to start eating it for breakfast. It's got iron, magnesium, zinc and calcium. It's got as much protein as a similar serving of greek yoghurt, so with all the talk of protein in wellness spaces I'm surprised it isn't better known. Traditional and heirloom varieties of rice and millets seem to be pretty nutrient-dense, and I'd like to pop fewer vitamin pills.

Current Mood: sore

ysabetwordsmith

This poem came out of the March 17, 2026 Bonus Fishbowl. It was inspired and sponsored by

librarygeek for Gwinnie, a pit bull mix and a good dog. It belongs to the series Polychrome Heroics.

Warning: This poem features impending animal death of natural causes. HANKIE WARNING.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

If you're still shopping the Bonus Fishbowl, now's the time to make your selections. I've already finished 7 poems besides the freebie, and I've still got a couple left to do.

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

Depression fatigue appears at the cellular level in brain and blood

Scientists have identified an unusual energy signature in young adults with depression: cells in both the brain and blood appear highly active at rest but lose ground when demand rises.

The finding recasts fatigue as a measurable feature of the illness, one that may surface before treatment choices become clearer.

One of the biggest challenges with mental health is that almost all diagnoses rely on abstract rather than concrete assessments. It's usually done by self-reporting or observation, which is neither precise nor objective, unlike most illnesses that have scientific tests. So finding any kind of biomarker is extremely useful.

Current Mood: busy

pushkin666

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Location: on my Chandler/Joey chair
Current Music: The Brokenwood Mysteries in the background

serafaery

must be less depressed because i just put on makeup and contacts to go see a friend.

:)

I realized a few weeks ago that wearing glasses makes me feel terrrrrrrible, I need to wear contacts more often but I'm on my last pair (made 1 year of them last 2) and I'm overdue for an eye appt to get a refill.

(Hmm I wonder if they would refill them if I just called, I should ask.)

But, I want to try to make an effort to wear them more often. I can't wear them for work but for any social engagement it's really very helpful. Also being in nature. It's just so much nicer not to worry about glass falling off of my face, when bent over examining flowers. Also silks, I really hate not being able to see anyone's faces in the gym.

My stomach is in knots over pulling the trigger on the air conditioner installation contract. It's just so much money. Josh is like, "but it'll be 100 in July" and I keep thinking, "maybe window units could get us through?" uuuughhhh. It's more than I paid for my wedding! lol.

Cynthia makes us bike several miles including downtown. She doesn't know that today is peak cherry blossom day. I am not going to warn her. But I am going to force her to stop for photos when we get there :) Mwahahahaaaaa. (We do NOT have enough photos together.) I will stick flowers in her hair and kiss her face a lot. I love her so much.

ysabetwordsmith

Today is sunny and hot. It is 85°F already. >_<

I fed the birds. I've seen a mixed flock of sparrows and house finches, several brown-headed cowbirds, and a mourning dove.

I put out water for the birds.

EDIT 3/22/26 -- We hauled the first three garden bags to the old picnic table. It's 86°F now and too hot to do everything at once. :/

EDIT 3/22/26 -- We hauled the next three garden bags to the old picnic table.

The first grape hycacinth is blooming randomly in the middle of the house yard, pollinated by tiny native bees.

EDIT 3/22/26 -- I did a bit more work outside.

It's 87°F now, which is just ridiculous for March.

EDIT 3/22/26 -- We hauled the giant bag of raised bed soil to the side of the garden shed, where it's meant to fill in a hollow area.

EDIT 3/22/26 -- I put a few scoops of composted manure in each of the top and bottom row of large pots along the north side of the new picnic table. This bag wasn't broken down as fully as usual. :/

I stepped out the door and it was cold. I checked the temperature: 57°F. Yes, it dropped 30 degrees is another an hour. For fucksake.

The first purple violet and the apricot tree are blooming.

EDIT 3/22/26 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.

It is now 47°F with howling wind. 0_o

EDIT 3/22/26 -- I did more work around the patio.

I am done for the night. The weather has been two different kinds of crappy all day.

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

My seeds arrived from Select Seeds.

Painted Tongue 'Select Superbissima Mix' (seeds)

Yarrow 'Flowerburst Red Shades' (seeds)

Coreopsis 'Corusco Cream-Red' (seeds)

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

My Prairie Moon seed order arrived today. :D

Early Figwort (seed)

Late Figwort (seed)

Common Ironweed (seed)

Purple Love Grass (seed)

Lead Plant (seed)

Current Mood: busy

mesona posting in

addme

Name: Mint

Age: 22

I mostly post about: Daily life and hobby updates

My hobbies are: I enjoy Vocaloid music, Vtubers, Anime/manga, literature, birdwatching, knitting and crochet, playing rhythm games. I'm also a programmer and may bring up tech stuff occasionally. I'm learning to draw.

My fandoms are: Current hyperfixation is NBA (go Nuggets). I keep up with F1 casually. I follow paleontology and aviation news. Currently reading JJBA, Chainsaw Man, slowly watching Dark Winds. Check my About Me sticky for the full list of stuff.

I'm looking to meet people who: Are also writing personal journals and forming community. Besides that, people who write or read more structured content. Such as personal journal, hobby updates, recipes, guides, media reviews, short stories. Bonus if you're posting outside of America (I'm from Southeast Asia myself).

My posting schedule tends to be: Few times a week.

When I add people, my dealbreakers are: Obviously don't be bigoted, though I assume most people on this site aren't. Probably won't come up often, but I'm not a big fan of people who post inflammatory or reactionary takes.

Before adding me, you should know: I will probably be posting about experiences with mental/physical health stuff, as I am AuDHD and am working through cPTSD. It won't be my main topic, but just a heads up that some of my posts will be heavy, and they'll have a content warning if they are.

Current Mood: mellow
Current Location: The tropics

serafaery

Just wanted to add, I was feeling really guilty this morning for all of the sad posts here and on insta when I was so depressed for so long. It gives me a sliver of relief to express it, but I don't want to bring anyone down, it's always temporary and it will pass and it doesn't seem meaningful to push out the suffering onto others' eyes who are already struggling under the weight of the dark things of the world. I do even in my darkness try to also post light things, but I need to try harder, or stay more quiet, when I'm that down, or just, post more gently sad things, even when what I'm experiencing is shredding clawing gnawing unbearable pain. It's a ghost. The pain is real but the disease is not reality. It's sooooooooooo hard to believe this when in its grip.

serafaery

finally in the filing stage of taxes, it's slow-going but I can see the light, lol.

I took some deeeeep dives into rule pages on the irs website. I just really want to understand the self-employment tax forms as thoroughly as possible.

It sucks that it takes so much time but I just really want to understand that I'm doing everything right.

I know I am too tedious about this stuff. I literally will change things by $3 just to make sure it's as correct as possible, that's not a good use of my time but I like the feeling that I'm doing everything as correctly as humanly possible.

Taking better notes this time so that I don't struggle so much to find next year's info. I also paid an extra $8 for my "free" tax software to pull info from last year for me, I'm sure it's worth it, especially going forward - this year it's still a lot of manual entry due to moving.

I will need to do some IRA contributions before I'm done, I think, so not sure I can finish tonight, but I'll be close! Tomorrow should be the end, unless I hit some unforeseen major snag. So far everything is clicking into place really nicely, just, kinda slowly.

I spent some time with the laptop outside on the back patio and took a walk here and there and have been eating yummy things to keep me going like avocado toast and dried mango.

The eggs from the chickens up the hill are wonderful. Happy chickens! The shells are sturdy, always a good sign. The yolks are bright.

Okay back to it. Avalanche is in heaven with mom around in the house all day, this hasn't happened since my surgery recovery :) Usually I'm either away working, running errands, hiking, dancing, or silks-ing :)

ysabetwordsmith

This crocodile ran like a greyhound across prehistoric Britain 200 million years ago

A newly discovered Triassic reptile from the UK looked more like a racing greyhound than a crocodile, built for speed on land. With long legs and a lightweight body, it hunted small animals in a dry, upland environment millions of years ago. Scientists identified it as a new species after spotting key differences in its fossils. It’s also a tribute to an inspiring teacher who helped spark a future scientist’s curiosity.

Peculiar Obligations has several such species called galloping crocodiles, hoofed crocodiles, or hoofers.

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

Today is sunny and hot.

I fed the birds. I've seen a small mixed flock of sparrows and house finches.

I put out water for the birds.

EDIT 3/21/26 -- I put topsoil in the four large pots that sit on the ground along the north side of the picnic table.

I also put the indoor flats of tree sprouts and squash sprouts outside to get some sun and air.

It is so hot outside as to limit my activity. In mid-March. This annoys me.

EDIT 3/21/26 -- I put topsoil in the four large pots that sit on the ground along the south side of the picnic table. There is just a little left now.

It's 81°F now. :/

EDIT 3/21/26 -- I spread the last of the topsoil in other pots around the new picnic table.

It's 82°F now. Fuck climate change.

EDIT 3/21/26 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.

I've seen two mourning doves in the forest garden.

EDIT 3/21/26 -- I did more work around the patio.

I am done for the night.

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

Actor Nicholas Brendon has passed away. He is most famous for playing Xander on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but also appeared on Criminal Minds and Private Practice.

Carry on the Work

5 Ways How To Steal The Show As The Comedic Relief In A Drama

Acting -- how to articles from wikiHow

Acting in Horror Films: Why You Need It And How to Pull It Off

Current Mood: busy

serafaery

Josh was away into the sunrise to go climb with friends at Smith Rock today. Avalanche and I have the house to ourselves!

I am set up in the dining room, ready to tackle taxes. I would LOVE to finish today!

The sunrise was so beautiful. The sky stayed pink and purple for an hour.

I love the new little door mat I got recently. The $3 snowman one I got at the thrift store was disintigrating, and I went for a slightly fancier new one and re-arranged the others and now they all match and fit well where they are, it's pleasant. My eyes are often on my toes so it's comforting when there is beauty there.

I am so pleased with Josh's little cozy corner on the couch, he loves the little space heater I got for that corner (there are two giant windows there so it's hard to keep warm), I researched the best kind that doesn't have any scent and this one is really perfect - the little one in my bedroom always smells a little like plastic but the couch one by Vornado never does.

Avalanche is staying down here with me, resting by her tunnel. Always nearby. My lil velcro cat :)

Had a nice catchup last night with Alessandra, I didn't get any sparkles but she says she will be around more so I will ask again when she's feeling better. I gave her tons. Also got to see Karissa and Ian, I want desperately to sparkle Karissa too but they took off just before we did and really there wasn't time. I will have to catch her again soon. But it was super nice to see them!

I discovered a headlight out and did the youtube thing and went to Autozone and bought a new pair and replaced it myself (they were very kind and gave me disposable gloves for the chore, after offering to help). What a cool feeling it was to turn on the lights and see it light up! The spare one is in my glove box waiting for the other bulb to go out :)

Mood feels fragile but still not low, more like, medium, I will take it!

...

Wanted to mention one thing that happened at the club Thursday. I often dance on the stage there, because there's more room and privacy (in that random people can't just touch me, I don't mind them looking), but I am mindful not to hog it because other people want to go up there for other reasons, and it's also just fun to mingle with the crowd, sometimes.

But because of the way I dress and maybe my confidence, I get a lot of attention and it's not always wanted.

So last night, this guy who's been coming around for a while, maybe my age, I've definitely caught him watching me and smiling more than a little, and he came up and started dancing with me and told me, "I've always thought you are SO beautiful!" which I thanked him for, but, as the song went on, he got closer and closer and sort of got up in my space a bit too much, which was too bad, because he seems nice enough, but it made me uncomfortable and I eventually had to shimmy away to another part of the dance floor, and made my way back to the stage.

Later, I saw him try this again with arguably the prettiest girl in the club. (She also happens to be trans. I only know this because we've talked a few times. She is very passing just visually, if you ignore her height.)

The interaction went more poorly for the guy hitting on her this time. She not only told him no, she told him to leave, and I saw her gesture angrily toward the door.

He immediately backed off, stayed on the other side of the room for a bit, and left after not too much time had passed.

And I just. Need to reflect on the stark contrast of our approaches in handling this guy's unwanted advancements.

I'm not saying either was right or wrong. It's just. I envy her ability to shut him down more forcefully. There's no reason I couldn't do that, it is a safe place for me to express my feelings and I have support there, I was surrounded by friends, Finley and Manders were both still there at the time, along with several other friends, and the staff also always has my back.

Why don't I be more direct and just claim my space?

Sigh.

...

Time to start werkin'.

...

Editing to add: Avalanche is now directly under my feet. :D hashtag velcrocat

ysabetwordsmith

People have expressed interest in deep topics, so this list focuses on philosophical questions.

Does marriage as an institution need to be updated or is it fine how it is?

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

Today's theme is Magic.

( Read more... )

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ysabetwordsmith

These questions come from

thefridayfive.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

ysabetwordsmith

Today is mostly sunny and quite warm. It's already 78°F outside. 0_o

I fed the birds. I've only seen a few sparrows and house finches, but lots of birds are singing all around the yard. I suspect they're more interested in foraging.

I put out water for the birds.

EDIT 3/20/26 -- I sowed 3 troughs with 'Sugar Ann' snap peas and 3 with 'Avalanche' snow peas. I put 2 peas in each end of a trough, leaving the middle open to plant other things. That makes 24 pea plants. These are bush types and did well last year.

EDIT 3/20/26 -- I sowed one trough with 'Lovely Lettuce Mesclun Blend' and one with 'Thumbelina Baby Ball' carrots. I plan to sow more of those 2 weeks later.

EDIT 3/20/26 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.

EDIT 3/20/26 -- I trimmed a few spray bits of brush in the parking lot, and followed up with weed spray. My partner Doug is trying to find someone to come install a load of gravel.

A large flock of several dozen blackbirds has gathered high in the trees.

EDIT 3/20/26 -- I watered the six troughs on the benches of the new picnic table garden.

EDIT 3/20/26 -- I used the last partial bag of compost & manure to spread a little over the eight big pots atop the new picnic table garden. So I'm out of that and nearly out of the American Countryside potting mix.

EDIT 3/20/26 -- I put topsoil in four of the big pots atop the new picnic table. They're not completely full yet; there's room to add a bit of potting soil.

EDIT 3/20/26 -- I put topsoil in the other four of the big pots. I still have a partial bag left.

I am done for the night.

Current Mood: busy

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