Reading over my last entry, I see that I did not do a great job of editing my typos, but I'm going to leave it as it is. I needed to just be kind of raw to write it, as I haven't really talked about it at all, even with my closest friends, or my husband. I'm usually very open emotionally, and I know if I were hearing this from someone else I'd tell them to talk about it. What's holding me back is the fact that A and I hadn't talked since my father's funeral, and I feel some guilt about that honestly. It wasn't out of malice or bad feelings on either party's part. We just didn't have that close a relationship. 

One thing I have been pondering is if I should seek out a therapist again. I had a really good one that I started seeing before I left my second husband. I started seeing him because I was having a hard time deciding if I should leave my alcoholic, narcissistic husband. Of course the answer to that question was yes - but - see there's a pattern here - I felt guilty about leaving. Anyhow, it was clear that once I had made up my mind to leave that I still had a lot of other emotional work to do, and as my therapist was an art therapist and artist, he was the perfect fit for me. He was also a Tibetan Buddhist, and that made my discussions of things going on in my Pagan life much easier to talk about. He retired around 2016, and at that point, I was really in a good place. He gave me a list of people I could see if I needed help again although I have no idea where that list is and I would imagine some of the people on that list may no longer be in practice, or may have moved.

I originally popped in here today to write about things going on in my life beyond my stepbrother's death and my mental health, but apparently there are still a few things on my mind in regard to those things. 

Since signing up for this account, I have moved to the new studio I was looking for. It does not fit ALL of the qualifications I was hoping to find, but I am hoping it will still be amazing in ways I hadn't previously imagined. It is still in Phoenixville, the town of the previous studio, but instead of having to walk up three flights of stairs, everything is on one floor. There are a few steps, but there is also a ramp, which makes the schlepping of the art stuffs so much easier. There is also a parking lot which can accommodate up to 40 cars, so that was also greatly pleasing to me. Unlike my last studio, it is also much more private, and has a door which I can open or close. I missed having that kind of privacy. 

The day I moved in, I ran into one of my colleagues from work, who was also moving in! I was elated and felt as though I had made the right decision. It costs much more than the last studio, but here I will be able to offer more classes, with a lot greater confidence that not only is the studio is easy to find, but that visitors will have a place to park AND that it is accessible to all kinds of people. 

More on this in a bit. I am on vacation this week - out of town - and just realized I can have a nap, which I would really like to have!!

It's the final week of class, and most of my students have completed all of their projects, so I am hanging out in the classroom with those who have not. We'll have finals week next week, where we'll do a group critique of their final projects. They've all been super sweet and kind about coming to me to show me work since my hip is still killing me. This group is pretty quiet, and enjoys just putting their heads down and doing the work.

Soooo...... the weekend. I've been teaching and holding classes on Wicca and Tarot at a fairly new Holistic Center in my area, and they've been really awesome about hosting Witches onsite. I have a small coven and we rent space there so we can keep our stuff there, and I am really hoping I can eventually move my entire art studio there. They have been building a really lovely community, and are mostly serving women. There's an occasional man now and again, but I like being around mostly women. I haven't determined that I would shut men out just yet, but I don't want to shut someone out who is actually a decent human being.

Anyway, I did the Tarot readings in the space the coven rents - we call it our "clubhouse," and was delighted that several of the coven dropped in while I was there. Everyone I have met there so far is really lovely. I was renting space at another holistic center prior to this, and everyone I met there was lovely, but the owner had some definite..... issues.

The need for space is something that is muchly on my mind of late, and it costs so much in my general area. I have been renting an art studio in the town of Phoenixville, and I love the community in the town, but the space.... is on the third floor of the building and there is no working elevator. I also love the other artists in the building. The issues I have are with the third floor - and also with the parking situation in Phoenixville. There really is never enough, and it is a huge problem. Also - the set up with my current space is very open - which artist studios often are. However, I'd like something more private for when I am actually doing Tarot readings, and I'd also like to be able to teach classes there. Space. I need space. Affordable space, with parking, and not too far from my house. I did a magical working with two friends who were also looking for space, and they both found places, but I have not.

AND.... I would love to have a larger space in the Holistic Center as well, but at the moment, one just isn't available. I am really trying to wait that out - there may be a tenant or two who will leave - but I'm feeling a squeeze here.

Thanks to the rain, we had to hold our Beltaine ritual indoors. I had initially planned for there to be a Maypole, and to be outside, but the rain was torrential. We managed to squeeze 16 of us into one of the meeting rooms, and it was a kind of tight fit. I think this is so much on my mind because with the semester ending, I am going to have more free time available, and that means I have time to teach more classes, do more stuff.... or I could find a better space for all of the things. I've been checking Craigs List and pestering the landlord at my art studio, but nothing has really emerged. With my current teaching job an hour from my house, I do want something relatively close to home.

No advice needed unless..... you are a realtor in my region or have a space to rent that meets all of my needs.