howdidufindmehere | Hello New Friends!

Current Location: My Living Room

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Hello New Friends!

Thanks to everyone who found me in the "add me" community! I really appreciate it, and your comments were all the kinds that I really missed back in the good old days of Live Journal. I also appreciate everyone who read and commented on my sad first entry. I've been in a kind of transformative process for the last few years and I'm still figuring quite a few things out.

A bit more about me:

I teach drawing and painting full time at a state university in Pennsylvania. I arrived there two years ago after 18 years at another state university where I taught art history, which I loved. I love teaching studio art too, but I kinda miss art history. (I don't have a PhD, which is a thing my current university wants for Art History). I don't miss the administrative mess that was my former employer.

I am a witch. I was part of a rather large Trad for a number of decades. I was very active with them, but found the structure had become restricting (for me) and I wanted to be more open to pursue my art and writing. I am also married and polyamorous and part of a quad.

Facebook can be fun, but there are too many family members, current and former students and coworkers there, and I wanted to find a place where I could safely be myself. I am out of the broom closet all the way, not quite all the way out of the poly closet. (Frankly I wouldn't care if people knew if I was poly, but I also don't want my life to be a distraction in the classroom, if that makes sense).

I'm also wanting to be relatively anonymous because I'm still working on processing a lot of the things that went on when I was in my previous trad. Recovery from narcissistic abuse, recovery from cult-y thinking, stuff like that.

I am recently diagnosed with ADD and I'm learning how to navigate that at my advanced age. It does indeed manifest differently in women then it does with men.

What else? I'm really really into the Qabala, I love studying magickal systems. I'm currently reading a lot of Damien Echols' and Jason Miller's books. I am listening to a number of podcasts, especially ones that deal with recovery from narcissistic abuse and cults. I'm still trying to figure out if I actually was in a cult.

My mood tends towards optimism. I think sometimes I am too intense for people as my optimism kinda borders on Ted Lasso levels most of the time.

Thanks for being here. I soooo appreciate this platform and thanks for reading!

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>> I teach drawing and painting full time at a state university in Pennsylvania. <<

That's awesome. :D

>>I don't have a PhD, which is a thing my current university wants for Art History.<<

Degree inflation is one of many factors feeding into the college bubble that's going to pop in the soon future. :(

>> I am a witch. <<

I'm Pagan, but my tradition is eclectic. I also write for the Llewellyn annuals.

>> I am also married and polyamorous and part of a quad. <<

Oh, that's cool. I'm poly but just have one partner.

>> I wanted to find a place where I could safely be myself. <<

Dreamwidth has robust privacy and moderation tools for that, which is why many people like it.

>> (Frankly I wouldn't care if people knew if I was poly, but I also don't want my life to be a distraction in the classroom, if that makes sense). <<

It could be a distraction. It could also save someone's life. For any minority or disadvantaged group, finding representation is hard. Without that, without seeing healthy adult examples, some young people struggle to envision a future, let alone a healthy happy one.

I write fiction and narrative poetry, with a very wide range of representation, and I frequently get comments from readers saying that a piece is the first they've seen themselves representated, or they didn't know there's a name for what they are, or the references I linked helped them discover a facet of their identity. I mean like once or twice a month.

This doesn't mean you have to change what you're doing, but it's something to think about -- especially since you're in the Art Department which attracts a large proportion of oddballs. Even if you don't say anything to the class in general, you might keep it in mind when you see a student struggling, if you can get them to talk to you about what's wrecking their life enough to impact their classwork.

>>I am recently diagnosed with ADD and I'm learning how to navigate that at my advanced age. It does indeed manifest differently in women then it does with men.<<

There are plenty of neurovariant folks on Dreamwidth, including ADD. The best place to learn how to use the brain you have is from other people who have lived with it. Most official help is only aimed at teaching people to fake being neurotypical, which is ruinous to health and happiness. (Prolonged Adaptive Stress Syndrome and Autistic Burnout are two good examples of people talking about such hazards.) If you haven't seen the hunter/farmer framework yet, that one's interesting. There are lots of ways to cope with ADD, including ways to capitalize on its strengths, and the internet helps people find each other and share tips.

A few things I've noticed about ADD and some other neurovariants:

* There's a pronounced intolerance for boredom. This motivates people to search for resources and other interesting things, rather than loafing on what they already have. Once you know this, you can work to minimize boredom, develop coping skills for it, and plan something interesting to do afterwards. Other times, you can try to find how a thing is relevant to you so it is less boring.

* ADD is particularly prone to scanning, constantly observing the environment for changes that indicate opportunity. Some people are particularly attracted, or distracted, by motion or sound such as a blinking thing on a computer screen. It's a big asset in hunting, not just for animals, but being able to spot the one thing you want at a flea market; or for noticing a bug landing on you so you can swat it before it bites. So if you know that, you can arrange your environment to minimize such distractions.

* But some people also have an attention lock which allows them to concentrate intensely on something of interest. This is fantastic for getting things done, but the drawbacks of zoning like that are that it wrecks your situational awareness to the point of missing time limits, and snapping out of it to realize you should've eaten 2 hours ago and desperately need to pee. Here it helps to set aside large blocks of time for projects likely to cause this, and remember to arrange food and comfort breaks before and after. Allow for time warnings so you have time to wrap up and don't have to break off in the middle of something where there's no good stopping place.

* ADD undermines many aspects of executive function (e.g. keeping track of tasks to do, being on time). There are lots of "cognitive offloading" tools to compensate for this, but you'll have to think about what your brain does poorly and experiment to see which tools help that. Schedules, timers, to-do reminder apps, and padding deadlines are just a few tools that some folks find helpful. Note that you can use this for things you can't do, but also to relieve the pressure of things you could do but would rather reserve that mental energy for other tasks.

Everything you learn about how your brain works is potentially useful in an art classroom, which attracts a lot of people who think differently than the usual, whether that's ADD or just being visual-native in a society that values reading a lot more than imagery. You're dealing with new adults who have just escaped from parental control and may not know how their brain works either. If you can teach them just one thing about that, one way to work with their brain instead of against it, that can make a huge improvement in classwork and life quality. And it's okay to learn from each other, too, if you happen to find a kid who actually got good support and knows tricks that you don't yet.

For what it's worth, I'm pretty obviously neurovariant but don't fit exactly into an official pattern. Basically I'm not human and it shows. I have a lot of neurovariant folks in my audience, so feel free to visit my blog and watch for them. We talk about challenges and skills sometimes, and the creative ones swap ideas for representation in prompt calls.

>>I love studying magickal systems.<<

I've got a bunch spread over my fictional settings, and just started a new one, in addition to studying Terran ones. Our Pagan library is over 1,000 volumes.

>>I'm still trying to figure out if I actually was in a cult.<<

Try the work of Isaac Bonewits.

http://www.neopagan.net/ABCDEF.html

He also wrote Real Magic (for Pagans) and Authentic Thaumaturgy (for gamers).

Robert Anton Wilson is very good for understanding neuroprogramming and how to hack it, including how to brainwash and un-brainwash. See Prometheus Rising.

And don't believe the crap people say about how "everyone can get sucked into a cult." Some people are more vulnerable, some more resistant, and that's why cults hunt for easy victims. If you got out of a situation that makes you think it might've been cultish, then you're already a stronger thinker than most cult references give people credit for. I saw one Pagan community turn cultish -- and lose 90% of its membership in less than a month. You might have gotten dinged up by the experience, but you can find ways to deal with that.

>>My mood tends towards optimism. I think sometimes I am too intense for people as my optimism kinda borders on Ted Lasso levels most of the time.<<

The world needs that, like Firefly needs Kaylee to avoid being just grimdark.

I actually met Isaac Bonewits back in the day - and I know his little table of culti-ness, which is one of the things that led me to questioning stuff. I've become fairly educated since then and trying to pay attention mostly to what is going on. Thanks for the ADD info. I have two more weeks of this semester and then I will have a lot more time to do deep dives into stuff.

>> I actually met Isaac Bonewits back in the day <<

I got to meet him too, back when I was editing PanGaia. He was a sweet guy. If I remember right, I was trying to talk him into letting me reprint "Cats Against Civilization."

>> and I know his little table of culti-ness, which is one of the things that led me to questioning stuff. I've become fairly educated since then and trying to pay attention mostly to what is going on.<<

That's good.

>> Thanks for the ADD info. I have two more weeks of this semester and then I will have a lot more time to do deep dives into stuff.<<

Almost done! :D

Oh, something else I forgot to mention -- you're at a university, so check their clubs. Some have an inclusivity or disability activism club, and those are often good places to meet other people who are figuring out how to work with the brain they have. Art or other creative clubs are also worth considering, basically anywhere with a high proportion of unusual folks.

Our school is really awesome regarding Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, although it is a little different being on the faculty side of things. I also live an hour away from the university - I was hired last year because the art major closed down at my last university, so I'm still finding my way around things. I'm not sure how students feel about faculty being involved in their clubs without being the faculty advisors. I teach drawing and painting, and again - the art clubs are more for the students, who seem weirded out if faculty try to relate to them too closely, or engage in spaces that they feel are private for students.

Hi. :) I tend to be a bit of a nihilisic optimist. My philosophy has always been to just keep going, even when things are tough. I'm a queer middle school history teacher in a deeply red state so I get wanting to keep what passes for real life separate from my life online. I'm an atheist but I find sincere spirituality interesting, especially from historical standpoint. I haven't been posting much lately because of a combination of the end of the school year, some medical stuff, and a VERY active new puppy.

Oh yikes - hang in there. Pennsylvania used to be very red, now it's just red in the middle.

We share several interests, most especially art, and various pagan pursuits, including Tarot.
Very glad to meet you!

Yay! Glad to meet you too.

Hi. It's nice to learn more about you!

I used to live in Pittsburgh, and graduated high school in Mercer county. Small world!

I'm also polyamorous. I'm the hinge in a V, and I'm grateful my partners are friends. I am a big believer in kitchen table poly.

I should be asleep, lol, so I'll let you go. Take care 🌈

Good to meet you. Sounds like we have a pretty fair amount in common.

I'm kind of liking the return to posting more in-depth thought here. Facebook is fun and all, but it's really for different things than this. And with how heavily political Facebook is, it's kind of a nice retreat to come here and focus more on introspection, and maybe friends and their lives.

For my part, I've been pagan for 20+ years... never been in a coven. The ones I've encountered locally seem to be heavy under the weight of internal politics. I figure that such an environment would only hinder my understanding and relations with my gods.

I also like to write ghost stories and urban fantasy type stuff. My wife and I co-authored one such ghost story that we self-published via Amazon. Trying to finish some of my own writing projects and get them more out there.

I'm thoroughly European so I'm not even clear at all where Pennsylvania is. I guess I'll look it up some time if I get interested enough. o/ I live far up north in Europe myself, even in these times of drastic climate change we still get snow and ice far beyond where most other people I know are talking of flowers and warmth. It's only been a two or three weeks now that the last of it melted.

There isn't much in terms of traditional coven-based (or other community-based) witch/pagan activity in Finland, so I make do. I'm some form of eclectic religious/polytheistic witch, with an emphasis on reconstructive myth (specifically myth, not practices) and a specialty in astrology. I do have quite a bit of interest in Tarot too, especially in its history and formation and connections to astrology. I have a book on my to-read pile that I've been meaning to prioritize reading, on those topics. Maybe I'll get around to it soon now that my broken wrist is healed enough to open highlighter pen caps!

AD(H)D folks are cool, good to see you're one of us. ;) I got a diagnosis some seven years back or so, although there were rumblings of it for years before that. It's been good for alleviating some of those feelings of failure that eventually come from not doing things like neurotypicals do. We have our own ways that are often just as good or better than those neurotypicals use!

Yup, hullo, nice to meet you! (with my overuse of end of paragraph exclamation marks and all that)

Hi there! I just sent a request. I appreciate the friending! I would love to visit Finland someday.

Oh - and Pennsylvania - the part of it I live in - is on the East Coast. We're above the Mason Dixon line, although I'm not sure if you're familiar with that context. Basically, I'm what they call a Yankee in the southern states.

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